by Susan Amaya | May 14, 2025 | children's therapy, co-parenting, Uncategorized
Parenting is one of the most rewarding—and emotionally intense—roles you’ll ever have. Whether you’re navigating tantrums, teen silence, or bedtime battles, your reactions shape more than just the moment. They shape your child’s sense of safety, identity, and how they learn to handle emotions themselves.
At Rekindled Hope Counseling, we help parents understand this powerful truth:
Your ability to regulate your emotions is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.
Here’s why emotional regulation matters so much—and how you can start practicing it more intentionally.
What Is Emotional Regulation, Really?
It’s not about “staying calm all the time.” That’s unrealistic.
Emotional regulation is the ability to notice what you’re feeling, pause before reacting, and respond in a way that aligns with your values—not just your stress.
It means you can be frustrated without yelling, sad without shutting down, and overwhelmed without lashing out. It’s the pause between trigger and response that changes everything.
Why It Matters for Parents
Your child learns how to handle big emotions by watching you. If they see you take deep breaths, name your feelings, or apologize when you snap—they learn emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and repair.
If they see explosive reactions or shutdowns, they may internalize fear, shame, or avoid expressing emotions altogether.
Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about modeling regulation and repair.
Signs You Might Be Struggling with Emotional Regulation as a Parent:
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You feel guilty after reacting with anger or sarcasm
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You avoid certain parenting situations because of how overwhelmed you feel
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You find yourself apologizing often for your reactions—but nothing changes
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You’re carrying emotional baggage from your own childhood or past trauma
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not broken—you’re human. And you can change.
How to Start Regulating More Effectively
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Name what you are Feeling
Say your feeling out loud—even if it’s just to yourself: “I’m feeling really overstimulated right now.”
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Use the Power of the Pause
A deep breath, a drink of water, stepping into the hallway for 30 seconds—small pauses protect relationships.
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Repair When You React
Messing up doesn’t disqualify you. It’s the repair that matters: “I’m sorry I yelled. That wasn’t okay, and I’m working on it.”
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Get Support for Your Own Triggers
If you grew up in a home without emotional safety, you may be parenting with empty tools. Therapy helps you fill that toolbox.
You Deserve Support, Too
Your emotional well-being directly affects how you show up for your family. That’s not pressure—it’s power. When you work on emotional regulation, you’re not just parenting your child. You’re re-parenting yourself with compassion.
At Rekindled Hope, we help parents break generational cycles, develop regulation skills, and show up with calm—even in the chaos.
👉 Schedule a free consultation to learn how therapy can support you in parenting from a place of peace, not pressure.
You can’t control every moment—but you can control how you grow through it.
by Susan Amaya | May 13, 2025 | Uncategorized
7 Signs Your Relationship Could Benefit from Counseling
At Rekindled Hope, we know relationships go through seasons. Some feel effortless—others feel like you’re walking through fog. Whether you’re dealing with constant arguments, growing distance, or silent resentment, the truth is: every couple hits rough patches.
Therapy isn’t a last resort—it’s a proactive step to reconnect and strengthen your bond. Wondering if it’s time? Here are 7 signs your relationship could benefit from counseling.
1. You Keep Having the Same Argument
If every conversation turns into a loop—where the same issue resurfaces again and again—it’s a sign that deeper needs aren’t being heard. Counseling helps you uncover what’s underneath the recurring conflict and create new ways to communicate.
2. You’re Communicating, But Not Connecting
You talk logistics—who’s picking up the kids, what to have for dinner—but the emotional intimacy is missing. When connection feels mechanical or distant, therapy can help reignite emotional closeness and remind you why you chose each other.
3. Trust Has Been Broken
Whether it’s infidelity, secrecy, or broken promises, breaches of trust can shake the foundation of a relationship. While healing takes time, couples therapy creates a safe space to rebuild trust and establish transparency.
4. One or Both of You Feel Unseen
Feeling emotionally invisible or undervalued is a quiet relationship killer. If you or your partner often think, “They just don’t get me,” therapy can help you both feel heard and understood again.
5. You’re Avoiding Certain Topics
Money. Intimacy. Parenting. If certain conversations feel too heated or too painful to even start, avoidance may be protecting the relationship in the short-term—but hurting it in the long-term. Counseling helps you face hard topics with compassion and structure.
6. You Feel More Like Roommates Than Partners
Maybe the spark has faded. Maybe you’re living parallel lives. It doesn’t always mean love is gone—just that it’s buried. Couples therapy can help you rediscover emotional intimacy and shared purpose.
7. You’ve Thought About Leaving (Even If You Don’t Want To)
Many couples silently wonder, “Would we be better apart?” even when they deeply want things to work. Therapy provides a neutral space to explore that feeling honestly—without judgment—and to work toward clarity and healing.
Therapy Isn’t a Sign of Failure—It’s an Investment in Your Future
You don’t have to wait for a crisis to seek support. In fact, the earlier you get help, the easier it is to repair, reconnect, and rekindle what brought you together in the first place.
At Rekindled Hope, we specialize in helping couples move from disconnection to understanding, from conflict to clarity. If you’re feeling distant, stuck, or unsure, you’re not alone—and you’re not out of options.
👉 Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see how couples therapy could support you both.
Let’s find your way back—together.
by Susan Amaya | May 19, 2024 | Uncategorized
Child Therapy is Crucial in Divorce
Experiencing a divorce can be incredibly challenging for children, igniting fears and triggering heightened anxiety as the family dynamic undergoes a significant shift. Adapting to new living arrangements or schools amidst their parents’ separation can be particularly tough for children, resulting in increased levels of aggression, separation anxiety, and negative impacts on their social and academic performance. This can further elevate stress levels for children who are already struggling with anxiety or mood disorders and can initiate anxiety-related concerns in children who do not normally have them.
Helping Children Cope With Divorce
When parents divorce, their children often react by showing:
- Regressive behaviors (bedwetting, tantrums, thumb sucking, refusing to go to bed)
- Rebellious behaviors (anger, disobedience, or (in an older child) disregard for the parents)
- Increased episodes of crying or whining
- Feel “sick” when they are healthy or becoming clingy
- Separation anxiety
- Blaming themselves for the divorce
The following are some ways that you, as a parent, can help diffuse some of the tension and child anxiety when going through a divorce:
- Respect your child’s feelings and encourage them to talk to you about their fears. You may not have all the answers, but sometimes just listening and being supportive to your child can be enough.
- Remember that your child has lost something, too. They have lost their time with one parent when they are with the other parent and, in many cases, have lost their familiar surroundings, peers, and maybe even a beloved pet or best friend.
- Reassure your child that, no matter what, you love them now and will always love them. Be sure they understand that the divorce was not their fault and that there is nothing they could have done to prevent it.
- Try to keep the same routines for bedtime, homework, play time, etc. New routines might need to be added (for example: going to the other parent’s house every Friday night), but keeping as close as possible to the same schedule helps children feel secure. It lets them know what to expect.
- Rituals also create a sense of safety for your child. A family ritual such as “game night” creates an anchor for your child and gives them a sense of familiarity and a way to relate within their new world.
If your family is going through divorce, reach out and let us help!
by Susan Amaya | May 25, 2019 | Group Therapy, Mental Health, Overcoming Anxiety, Teenagers, Uncategorized
Group Therapy and Your Teen
Group therapy can be life-changing for your teen. Teens face unique challenges in today’s society. They are also influenced most by their peers. This is why peer group therapy is so effective in assisting teens with depression, anxiety, and societal issues. 56 studies over a 20-year period, reported in the Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, reports that group therapy was proven more effective with children and teenagers than other forms of therapy. Often, parents are not equipped to be the sole source of support and teens need support outside of the home. Rekindled Hope’s group for teens provides a safe place for teens to attend sessions with peers, and led by a Masters level therapist. The group will help teens feel supported while they gain confidence, address relevant topics, and seek personal growth.
Benefits of group therapy with teens
- Feel supported and validated by their peers
- Observe the progress of others
- Improved self-esteem and confidence
- Overcome issues
- Give strength to one another
- Real talk about real issues
- Accountability
- Learn new strategies and coping skills
- Positive social interaction
- Learn about themselves
- Build peer relationships
When depression or anxiety develop in the teen years, it can stick around and become a lifelong struggle. Always consult your child’s doctor about concerning emotional issues.
Group therapy provides therapists with the rare opportunity to see teenagers social problems in action. Shyness, bullying, inattentiveness, fearfulness, social anxieties are a few of the tendencies that emerge in group. A skilled group therapist catches these reactions in the moment and helps teens to overcome bad habits and make new choices. Adults do not usually understand the anxiety and fears that teens face today. Allowing teens time with their peers to address relevant issues will bring positive change to your family overall. Group therapy can be life-changing for your teen! I cannot stress this enough!
by Susan Amaya | Mar 20, 2019 | Uncategorized
We have all heard the quote coined by Theodore Roosevelt, “comparison is the thief of joy”. Joy is defined as a feeling of happiness, but it goes much deeper than that. With life, comes hardships and challenges. How do you hold on to joy amidst life that is subject to challenges and hardship?
Comparison comes along to wreak havoc on joy in ways that are not always obvious. In the period we live in, with constant bombardment of seemingly perfect lives on social media, it’s easy to see how comparison can take its toll. But beyond that, comparison sneaks into our own thought process, sometimes without detection. Let’s think about a few: expectations, perspective, judgement and fear.
Expectations
Often times we place expectations on people or events. Sometimes they are unrealistic or uncommunicated, and we set ourselves up for disappointment as we compare the way things are with what we had expected. Being open to realize that things don’t have to be perfect to be good is a way to keep your expectations reasonable.
Perspective
Sometimes people find themselves in a situation that they had not expected, nor had any choice over. It’s in these times when the thought process has to shift. If you cannot change the situation, you must change your perspective. When the illusion of control is stripped away, all that can be done is to decide how to respond, address or cope with the situation. Do not fall into the trap of comparing whatever that situation is with another. Rather, focus on changing your perspective because ultimately, that is all you can control.
Judgement
Judging oneself and others can happen quite innocently, but usually leads to disappointment. Realizing that we are all fallible and extending grace to others is vital to maintaining healthy relationships. Most importantly, we tend to withhold grace from ourselves. Self-acceptance and self-love are not selfish but are paramount to emotional health. Withhold judgement against others and yourself and operate from a state of understanding.
Fear
Fear is like a prerequisite to comparison. We don’t act because we have a fear of failure. That fear of failure is based on a comparison of what we define as success. We fear falling short of our comparison – whether that is putting yourself out there for a relationship, making a career change, going after a promotion and even in parenting. Letting fear dominate your choices is allowing comparison to win before you even set out to accomplish your goal.
All of these “joy-thieves” will appear along the path of life at one time or another. It’s up to us to stop the thieves before comparison steals the joy right out from under us. Joy can be found when the thought processes are monitored and an effort is made to cut out the elements that lead to comparison.
