Why Emotional Regulation Is the Most Underrated Parenting Skill

by Susan Amaya | May 14, 2025 | children's therapy, co-parenting, Uncategorized

Parenting is one of the most rewarding—and emotionally intense—roles you’ll ever have. Whether you’re navigating tantrums, teen silence, or bedtime battles, your reactions shape more than just the moment. They shape your child’s sense of safety, identity, and how they learn to handle emotions themselves.

At Rekindled Hope Counseling, we help parents understand this powerful truth:
Your ability to regulate your emotions is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

Here’s why emotional regulation matters so much—and how you can start practicing it more intentionally.

What Is Emotional Regulation, Really?

It’s not about “staying calm all the time.” That’s unrealistic.

Emotional regulation is the ability to notice what you’re feeling, pause before reacting, and respond in a way that aligns with your values—not just your stress.

It means you can be frustrated without yelling, sad without shutting down, and overwhelmed without lashing out. It’s the pause between trigger and response that changes everything.

Why It Matters for Parents

Your child learns how to handle big emotions by watching you. If they see you take deep breaths, name your feelings, or apologize when you snap—they learn emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and repair.

If they see explosive reactions or shutdowns, they may internalize fear, shame, or avoid expressing emotions altogether.

Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about modeling regulation and repair.

Signs You Might Be Struggling with Emotional Regulation as a Parent:

You feel guilty after reacting with anger or sarcasm
You avoid certain parenting situations because of how overwhelmed you feel
You find yourself apologizing often for your reactions—but nothing changes
You’re carrying emotional baggage from your own childhood or past trauma

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not broken—you’re human. And you can change.

How to Start Regulating More Effectively

Name what you are Feeling
Say your feeling out loud—even if it’s just to yourself: “I’m feeling really overstimulated right now.”
Use the Power of the Pause
A deep breath, a drink of water, stepping into the hallway for 30 seconds—small pauses protect relationships.
Repair When You React
Messing up doesn’t disqualify you. It’s the repair that matters: “I’m sorry I yelled. That wasn’t okay, and I’m working on it.”
Get Support for Your Own Triggers
If you grew up in a home without emotional safety, you may be parenting with empty tools. Therapy helps you fill that toolbox.

You Deserve Support, Too

Your emotional well-being directly affects how you show up for your family. That’s not pressure—it’s power. When you work on emotional regulation, you’re not just parenting your child. You’re re-parenting yourself with compassion.

At Rekindled Hope, we help parents break generational cycles, develop regulation skills, and show up with calm—even in the chaos.

👉 Schedule a free consultation to learn how therapy can support you in parenting from a place of peace, not pressure.

You can’t control every moment—but you can control how you grow through it.

Co-Parenting

by Susan Amaya | Feb 5, 2019 | co-parenting

Co-Parenting in a Healthy Way

Co-parenting is critical for your child’s well being. You must share the duties of co-parenting in a healthy way to protect your child’s emotional health. It will be challenging, but, it is critical for your child’s well being. When both parents share the same goal it creates structure. Communication and cooperation are the two main components of co-parenting well. Effective communication insures less conflict when your child is living between two households. The most important element is communicating and setting up standards for how that will be done. You must decide whether you and your co-parent communicate best in written form or face to face. What works best for one family may be different for another family. Consistency in communication is key to successful co-parenting.

Rules and Boundaries

Once the method of communication is established and scheduling is out of the way, it’s important to set up consistent rules and boundaries for both households. Your child’s need of structure is vital and requires cooperation between parents. The goal is to keep your child’s well-being the focus of all communication. Neither parent needs to be concerned with their own needs and emotions. Keep in mind that co-parenting communication is between parents. It is never ok to use your child to communicate co-parenting information. This protects your child from feeling caught in the middle of any conflict or disagreement. Realize that cooperation is not giving in to the other parent, it is what’s in the best interest of your child. If both parents can keep that in mind and stay positive it will greatly impact your child’s well being in a positive manner.

Co-parenting for your child’s well being is not without challenges. But, once these standards are in place, it will produce a successful parenting plan. It’s helpful to remember the three C’s – communication, consistency and cooperation.